"Confucius say: lovers in triangle, not on square."

- A fortune cookie I found when I was sixteen that I try to live by every day.

 

I’m going home in two days to surprise my sister for her birthday and we’re trying to figure out the best way to clothesline her with my presence

so far we have:

  • rent a houseboat. kidnap her, bring her to the houseboat. I am in the houseboat
  • rent a karaoke room. have me come over the speakers and sing a song for her. I enter in glitter and confetti
  • she lives in a creepy basement room and is a total wimp so I would hide in the basement in her bed and when she comes in, I would slowly sit up and start screaming
  • follow her all night in disguise and spill a drink on her, follow her to the bathroom, and take off my fake nose

any opinions on which is best/other ideas would be welcome

hotforpunks:

OH MY GOD

(Source: videohall)

the-fandoms-are-cool:

dancys:

Captain America: The Winter Soldier | clip: ‘here to ask a favour’.

Fury’s face in the last gif tho

"this dumbass motherfucker wants tony stark to mingle with children

basedgaben:

My dad credits this as his favorite photo of me.
When I was younger, I was very socially anxious. I hated crowds, hated attention, hated being up on stage. In preschool there was this little Halloween show that we put on, and man, I did not want to do that shit, let me tell you. All those parents watching me sing some stupid song? Nah, that ain’t me.
But I was forced to, and I was pissed about it. My dad was in the audience, taking pictures and enjoying the show. In that moment, I swear, my tiny four year old was pure rage and resentment. I felt the word “fuck” years before I knew what it was.
My dad pointed the camera at me, and I turned, and I looked. I gave him the look that summed up all the anger, all the absolute fury that was brewing inside me. He says that he had never before seen such a perfect depiction of total and complete hatred. In his four year old son.
To this day whenever I get pissed, he calls me “Buzz Lightyear”.

basedgaben:

My dad credits this as his favorite photo of me.

When I was younger, I was very socially anxious. I hated crowds, hated attention, hated being up on stage. In preschool there was this little Halloween show that we put on, and man, I did not want to do that shit, let me tell you. All those parents watching me sing some stupid song? Nah, that ain’t me.

But I was forced to, and I was pissed about it. My dad was in the audience, taking pictures and enjoying the show. In that moment, I swear, my tiny four year old was pure rage and resentment. I felt the word “fuck” years before I knew what it was.

My dad pointed the camera at me, and I turned, and I looked. I gave him the look that summed up all the anger, all the absolute fury that was brewing inside me. He says that he had never before seen such a perfect depiction of total and complete hatred. In his four year old son.

To this day whenever I get pissed, he calls me “Buzz Lightyear”.